will

what is your will for my life?, what should i do? what is in store? how should i proceed? i am thinking lately that i drive Jesus crazy. i can have this affect on my friends and family but never occurred to me it was possible to Jesus as well. i think i have the first part pretty ok, every morning, i say "lord, use me, according to your will", i am available to you". that sounds acceptable, but i tend as a first born to say, "you know what would be great?, should i?, is it time for"? i am doing the leading, when will i learn to follow?

to follow? it is a hard concept for me, but one i am wanting to badly to learn...

HE has the plan, not me. when i offer up my day and let it proceed according to his will, it is one of peace and calm. i assume that is how he wants our lives to be used and filled during the day. when i take over, it is generally a rushed, crazy day, filled with the frustrations that i put there.

i had a revelation, or insight or whatever it is you get when HE talks to you. i like helping people and love when he uses me for that. there are many hurting people and so the opportunity to help is endless. the other day, i sat on my deck reading the bible and exploring things i had never seen in acts. [another God moment, i was prompted to read acts and did, and then yesterday while driving kids to iowa city, them with their headphones, i started my new beth moore book on audio. it was delving into acts...which i had not a grasp on. HE wanted me to understand it better]. well, at the end of the day, i had sat at two baseball games, cooked spaghetti, taken kids to movies, done two loads of laundry and sat on my deck reading. in my bedtime prayers, i indicated that i was sorry i had not helped anyone on that day, and if i've ever "heard" anything, it was next, clearly, i was doing the exact thing HE wanted me to do on that day, i viewed it as a loss to help anyone, but i again, put my will into the day. taking care of children, watching ballgames, cooking and cleaning and reading what HE wanted me to read, was a perfect day in his eyes. not a loss of a day, but a day that was totally acceptable and good. i struggle sometimes when a day is slow, because i run like the wind and it seems that a slow day produced nothing. when in fact, my son said at bedtime, "great day mom", and the drive to iowa city, as i listened to the book and learn more about the word of God, because i read it the day before, i could actually learn and not start at point a. i tell my kids over and over, Roman 8:28 all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.

why do i ever doubt that it applies to me as well?

blessings to all today, take those moments for peace in your soul, to do simple things and know you are doing HIS will as well, having the perfect day, the day he meant for you to have...